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Ask Coach Carol

From Resolutions to Meaningful Goals

Carole Rehbock
Contributor
January 2008

Dear Coach Carole,

I am a manager, husband and father who has many things to accomplish.

As we begin a new year I start making my New Year’s resolutions: life/work balance, spend more time with my family, improve my finances and get more results for my team and not feel so exhausted. At this point I am discouraged as I think about my New Year’s resolutions. In my experience I find I am really good for the first month or two and then I get overwhelmed and before I know it I’m back to my old habits. What do you suggest to help me stay consistent and on track throughout the year?

Sincerely,

Discouraged

Dear Discouraged,

You pose a very common problem faced by many. You, like many of my clients, start out with the best of intentions yet find it difficult to sustain momentum over time.

For this reason I no longer set New Year’s resolutions or encourage my clients to do so. The main problem I see with New Year’s resolutions is that they tend to be more about fixing what we have not been doing, rather than setting goals for something we desire. We also make too many resolutions, rather than focusing on just two or three.

What I suggest is to set “fun” goals that have meaning and relevance instead of resolutions. We all set goals; but do they meet this criteria? Dr. Maria Nemeth (a mentor and colleague), in her book Mastering Life’s Energies, discusses intentions, and how they link to goals. She differentiates tasks from goals and defines a goal as an area toward which play is directed. A goal brings joy and represents something positive. Goals have excitement attached to them, and are sustained over a specific timeframe. Tasks, on the other hand, are defined as unfinished items that bring relief when completed.

The likelihood of success is greatly reduced if you do not have a meaningful goal or you have too many goals. Take the time to really construct goals that will keep you motivated and sustain the persistence it takes to achieve them.

Spend some time examining your resolutions, evaluating their relevance and turning them into a few goals that you feel passionate about. You also want to make sure you get lots of support along the way. Listed below are some tips to support you to stay headed in the right direction.

I hope this helps you to achieve your goals and staying on track throughout the year , with less stress and a sense of accomplishment.

Tips

• Take on 1-2 goals at a time—don’t let yourself get overwhelmed.

• Tape your goals to a place in your office or at home or make a visual, as a frequent reminder of what is important to you.

• Start out with small tasks and small time periods, and as you get results, increase the challenge.

• Ensure your goals line up with what is important to you. Ask the people you trust for input.

• Review goals on a regular basis with a friend or support person and adjust them as appropriate.

• Decide how you want to acknowledge your successes along the way.

• Visualize yourself accomplishing your goal, and note how good it feels.

• Have the goal be fun and exciting!

Carole Rehbock is the President and Founder of Consulting & Coaching Solutions. You can reach Carole at carole@rehbocksolutions.com or 510- 843-6417.